I am particuraly fond of using these words during the Great Thanksgiving, "On the night in which Jesus was betrayed he took bread..." Most Great Thanksgiving's say, "On the night Jesus gave himself up for us..."
I like betrayal because it is the elephant in the room. It is real. There is no pretending that everyone is on the same page and this is just another good ole sit down family dinner. It isn't the type of experience we post on Facebook (okay some do...). This table is broken. Awkward. And the host is none other than Jesus.
The only one at this table that is feeling betrayed and hurt... is Jesus. No one else gets it.
Everyone thinks Jesus is sending Judas on a shopping trip to get some supplies for the coming passover celebration. It must suck to be the God of the Universe... yet no one get... how hurt your heart is... because of betrayal.
Everyone continues to party like everything is good.
In some ways I get this... one of the churches I serve has decided that they want a pastoral change. There is no compromise... it doesn't matter that the other church doesn't want a change... I get it. They are dying... they need someone to blame. I am a fun target. (tell me how you really feel...)
Yet what gets me... is that I did not see it coming. I was blindsided. There was a lot of wants... that were never made clear to me. I felt betrayed. I felt betrayed by those especially I thought cared about me.
In a few weeks the congregation will be told officially that I am leaving. Most everyone will think it is my decision... this is what pastors do. I then have to smile... and say God is good.
All the while no one gets it... we play pretend... this is normal... yet we are not living in resurrection... we are still living at the table where no one gets it... where everyone is lost and confused... everyone is pretending everything is okay.
And yet I find it interesting that the next thing Jesus says is to love one another as I have loved you. If there is anything that might end this cycle it is love. It frees us from hurt and the recieve the abundance of God's mercy and forgiveness.
