"God's got this"

Today my wife is 28 weeks and four days pregnant. Eight weeks ago at her 20-week appointment, we were told that she had a partial placenta previa, a part of her placenta was covering the cervix. Not a huge concern because it usually corrects itself. Fast forward eight weeks. My wife and I were getting ready for bed. My wife went to the restroom before getting in bed. She comes in and tells me that she is bleeding. I told her to call the hospital and we will go from there. The hospital said that we should go ahead and come in. We weren't ready for anything. No prepared bags. No plans for our daughter. We packed up the car and went. 

They admitted her immediately to the hospital. We were nervous that this could be it. The baby might be born now. But everything cleared up fast and they kept her in the hospital for a few days. 

We found out while we were there that she didn't have a partial previa but a full previa. This meant that she would have a c-section and that she might have other occasions of bleeding. 

The following day we were both sitting in the hospital together watching television. I received a text from a parishioner showing concern for my wife and encouragement that said, "God's got this." 

My first thought was who told you? Who let the news out? As a pastor... I have always tried to be private and keep my concerns to myself. I did this out of maintaining "healthy" boundaries. This is the kind of stuff they taught me in seminary. In some ways, it messed me up. 

Because what this experience has taught me is that my church loves, supports, and cares for my family. And when my family is facing a trial they want to uphold us. If I maintain so-called "healthy" boundaries I miss out on this gift of grace. 

In a way for a brief moment, they became my pastor. Reminding me in the midst of my own struggles that God was with my family. Tears welled up in my eyes. Tears of gratitude. My wife asked me what I was reading (I hate tearing up...)... I lied..."Oh, nothing...". What I should have said... in the midst of bad news... the church became some good news for us!