This is what people say when my three-year-old daughter tucks her head into her chest and hides behind my legs. It is the exact same thing people said of me when I was her age. I have been wondering over the past few weeks what it might mean to change my language around shyness.
I understand why people say it and I also feel the need to say these words to somebody to make up for my daughter not accepting automatically every person she meets. It sometimes feels as if she has a secret disease that everyone knows about and feels the need to point it out, "Oh, she is shy".
And yet the most devastating thing about shyness is that people think it means that she doesn't want to play or be involved. Or that they aren't taking in their environment or thinking intently about the people they are around. But the truth is that often times at the end of the day she will tell about how much fun she had playing with her friends or about a friend of mine that she met. Maybe from the surface, she appeared disengaged and fearful, but she unlike others was deeply connected and present.
A couple of weeks ago we went to Disney World and we got a fast pass to see Cinderella (I was thrilled...). She wasn't very excited about seeing Cinderella and much more interested in Minnie Mouse. She did what she normally does tucks her head into her chest, frowns, and hides behind mom.
I am thinking let's hurry this up. Just get the picture and let's go. I couldn't take it! There is a line of people waiting who want to see Cinderella.
And then Cinderella steps in and tell us, "Let her take her time. We don't need to rush." Really... seems to be a lot of people in line...
These words were "magic" no pun intended. Because maybe this is what I wish people would say to her. Maybe these are the words I wish someone would have said to my parents when I was a kid.
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